Should kids be allowed to get bored?

In 2020 when the lockdown hit and we all were house arrested my biggest concern was, how will I get my child to be occupied all the time and not let her get bored so she doesn’t get cranky. I, obviously, was not worried about me getting bored, since we all had work overflowing from all areas.

So, I started planning her day from the time she would wake up till she would go to bed at night. I would plan her games, craft activities, stories and everything, a day prior, so that my present day would go smoothly. It went really well for a week. She was very happy and enjoying the activities that we were doing together. But after a week what I faced was complete exhaustion. I would be so exhausted by the end of the day that I couldn’t plan her next days activities or would forget to buy the craft material that we would need and things started getting messy. Not to mention she felt kind of lost as to what’s happening!

And then the sentence that I was actually dreading came up. My daughter tells me, “Mumma, I am bored.” I felt so bad and guilty for making her feel that way. That’s when her school had kept this reading session on how it is actually important that we let our kids get bored. It was, trust me, a game changer for me. It made my life so much easier and better.

Boredom is actually good for kids.

Adults don’t allow themselves to get bored. Do you know, on an average a person picks up his phone 266 times a day? What we gotten ourselves to, is, we constantly feel the need to be occupied. In fact, feeling bored is looked down upon. We come from an era where, if you were bored it means you didn’t have anything to do. Think about it, “When was the last time you were truly bored?” which means, you didn’t have anything interesting to do to occupy your time.

In an article, Sandi Mann, who literally wrote the book on Boredom, argues that modern technology has prevented us from using boredom to our benefit.

“Every time we get our phone out, we are not allowing our mind to wander and to solve our own boredom problems,” Mann says.

The truth is, even when we think we’re bored, we aren’t. Our phones, and subsequent constant connection to the internet and other humans, have all but removed the threat of boredom from our daily lives.

True boredom in the form of no stimuli at all, is so rare that we fear it and refuse to succumb to it. Because of this, we think our children should never be bored either.

 

Now lets talk about the advantages of getting bored…

 

Boredom stimulates creativity

Boredom gives your child time and reason to be creative and engage in their own ideas. I actually noticed that my daughter had started making her own stories using whatever object she will find around her. In fact, it was so amazing to see her making stories while putting her toys away too. She started learning few math equations like addition, subtraction just while playing. So, you may truly be amazed with what they come up.

 

Boredom enhances problem solving

Like with creativity, our child needs opportunities to solve their own problems without a parent’s presence. As her school teacher says, let them be with the questions they have. We may not provide them with all the answers even if we know. That will help them come up with their own answers. It stimulates their thinking process and that is like experiential learning.

Being forced to come up with their own entertainment may lead to daydreaming, which will ultimately develop your child’s ability to solve problems. For example, they’ll feel pride in figuring out which toy they have, that’ll work perfectly as a door to the fort they built, all on their own.

 

Boredom helps us value the good days

Have you ever imagined, what would life be like if you truly never had a dull moment?

A bit of boredom is like a rainy day in the middle of summer. It’s a downer when it happens, but it makes us really appreciate the sunny days that follow.

If there are no lulls in a child’s life, they may not appreciate the exciting times as much.

 

Boredom can actually bring you closer together

Try being bored with your child! I was amazed to see what my daughter came up with when left to her own devices.

Try some intentional, child-led, ‘boring’ time with your kids. Put down the phone and ask your child to think of something fun for you to do together. Be ready for a laughter-filled ride!

 

Boredom leads to self-discovery

Given unstructured time to think freely about whatever naturally comes to mind — will help children learn who they truly are. The child, who might be more interested in math, will be seen doing a lot of measuring and calculating and understanding the area and volume and all through play. You never know what they discover.

The next time your child complains of being bored, allow them that time to be bored but sit with them and encourage them to think what can you do together. Only thing you will have to be mindful of, is not encouraging them to have screen time to kill their boredom. Think of screens as a last resort. We don’t want to plant the “avoid boredom with passive entertainment” seed in them if we can help it. Once the urge to look at their phone subsides, they will find themselves face to face with the things that actually interest them.

 

We all can do this exercise to understand how much boredom can be effective to all of us. Spare some time everyday from your busy schedule to do nothing. For e.g., while travelling or having your meals just try to be with yourself. No music, no phone, no book, no person, nothing. No provocation. Nothing that gets your senses excited. Just get bored. And if you do that consistently in a disciplined manner you will be surprised to know how many of your unsolvable problems look as if they don’t exist anymore. Try it out and know how it works.

Then you will not be afraid to allow your child to experience some boredom. It will do them — and you — a world of good.